Here’s an interesting premise for a horror film: cross the gruesome deaths of Final Destination with the high-school clique setting of Mean Girls. Give yourself 30 seconds to think what that could be. Now, relish in the fact that whatever you just thought up is likely a better execution of that premise than anyone involved with Wish Upon could ever hope to achieve.
Wish Upon tells the story of Clare (Joey King), a high-school outcast who comes into possession of an ancient Chinese music box with powers to grant her seven wishes. But with every wish-granting knick-knack, there is a catch: with each wish it grants, it takes the life of someone dear to the owner. Luckily Clare has plenty to wish for and tons of friends and relatives to throw into the proverbial (and maybe literal) meat grinder.
But the one thing anyone could hope for from such an overdone premise is an interesting display of unorthodox deaths. Unfortunately, much of Wish Upon plays out like the discarded scraps from a discarded first draft of a Final Destination sequel. Discarded because rather than make the audience squirm with disgust, they are more likely to erupt with laughter. I had my face shielded for a good portion of the film, not because of a queasy stomach, but out of something closer to embarrassment for those involved on screen, or maybe for myself. Maybe there’s a scary way to shoot a naked old man falling into a bathtub, but what I witnessed was not that. I guess with PG-13 horror you take what you can get.
It’s pretty safe to say that there isn’t anything in Wish Upon that warrants its existence. The script is too out-of-touch with its audience to play get the high-school angst-ridden drama right and the horror is too neutered to please any fans of the genre. Worst of all, it doesn’t seem to be aware of how far off the mark it is.
D